Low tech

It's supposed to be a challenging week ahead as far as weather goes.  Everyone is being warned to stock up on water, non-perishables, batteries, matches and candles.

I've sharpened all of my pencils.

It will be a good opportunity for me to get back to writing by hand on lined paper.  It's always been an effective way for me to focus and connect with the story. No Facebook pokes, Twitter rants, email cartoons or blog connections to distract me.  Just the story and the scratch of lead on paper.  I even have a notebook, the old-fashioned kind not the computer, waiting for me to open it up and begin.

It may be a low tech week ahead. I look forward to it.  Provided all the amenities are taken care of and everyone is safe.

Do you sometimes miss the good old days before computers made life so much easier?

Grief

I have been grieving in one stage or another for over a year.  I know that death is part of life and that grief is a necessary part of healing.  I've been working on it.

Today is the memorial for a good man. He went missing in August. His body was found in September, right smack between the anniversaries of losing Kate and Bryan. Now I have a trifecta of grief.

But people are sick of me being sad, unhappy, full of sorrow.  I'm working to see the joy in those lives, to celebrate all that I learned from them. I mourn the experiences we won't have.  I see-saw between remembering every single detail of all our interactions, and wanting oblivion from memories.

This past week, I turned to movies and books to give me strength and distract me. I read non-fiction, watched documentaries.  The architect's mistress was brutally murdered, the activist was eaten by bears and the whale was killed by a tugboat.  The latter was the final straw.  I stared at my DNi in horror when the film ended.  The first two weren't a surprise but The Whale? That was my cheering movie.  That was my happy ending reward for surviving the week. 

It occurs to me as I write this that there similarities between my entertainment choices and my friends.  I suspected Kate and Bryan had finite time here enriching our lives.  Darrell was big and playful like the whale, intent on forging friendships and erasing boundaries, preconceptions and the way the world interacts with each other. 

Instead of therapy, I talk to my friends, process over here and try to make sense of that which simply is. Grief can't be explained, understood or rationalized. It takes its time, does its thing and cannot be ignored.

Resistance is futile. Grief will find its way in. No matter how I tried to avoid it this week, it found me.  Today, I embrace the sorrow, revel in the good memories and mourn the ones we will not make. 

Character revelations

Brynja has been frustrating me, somewhat.  That's good news in that I've been playing with her. But she's been behaving like a TSTL (too stupid to live) heroine from the '80s.  After a great deal of discussion, she acknowledged that she had indeed behaved in such a manner. It perplexed her as much as it did me, and she vowed to never do it again.  Usually when a character says never, they mean until the next time.  I'm going to have to watch her closely. She's reckless. At least, I now know why. 

Bracken is not at all reckless, despite his recent act of pulling up stakes and moving halfway across the world. He was driven to do so by forces beyond his control.  He's pretty pleased with how that's turned out so far.

It seems that no matter how much I plot, I continue to learn things about characters and stories as I go along. That's essential if I'm to stay interested in writing. A big part of why I write is to see how things work out.  Editing isn't as much fun as I already know the story. Then it becomes a game of words.  That's a different kind of interesting.

How's your week been?

Happy Thanksgiving

We have a tendency, most of us, generally speaking, to appreciate things most when we no longer have them.  It's Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada so for three consecutive days, I tend to focus on all the wonderful things for which I am full of thanks.

Today, I am grateful that my Internet connection is wonky so that I will spend more time outside enjoying the cool Autumn weather.


I appreciate the people who have shared my life, even briefly, and taught me about living in the process.  Through them, I experience great conversations, good books and entertainment that stimulate my brain cells so that I'm always learning new things, reaching for better understanding and enjoying myself in the process.

I live in a country that fills all of my needs - physical, emotional, spiritual and mental.  There is no need to want for anything here. 

Go enjoy your day and give thanks for every thing and every one you appreciate.  Have a slice of pumpkin pie while you're at it.