Friday, January 18, 2013

Today's good things

My new roommate brought me a cup of tea this morning.

It's sounds like a live action ad for the new Oz movie out there.  I like wind, as long as it leaves things where it found them. No rearranging of the landscape if you please.  Thank you

I was out picking up essentials that we had reached critical need of replenishing when I ran into an old friend I haven't seen for a few years. I ran into another friend at the other store of essentials. I made plans to see each of them at separate events in the next couple of weeks.

The doctor was very happy I took yesterday off for being exhausted.  He'd like me to do that more often.  Did you know that migraine auras can affect the colour of your world?  Indigo is one of my favourite colours. Fortunately.  I'm not stuck with that hue which is a very Good Thing.

I spoke with Mom on the phone for awhile this evening. She knew who I was and what was going on. I'd elevate that to a Great Thing.

I wrote another scene this evening while I was cooking.

I made my own dark chocolate pretzels. 


My aunt sent me the following:  It's chock full of Good Things (laughter is the best)


These are actual comments made by South Carolina Troopers that were taken off their car videos:


1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."

2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document." 

4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC."  ( National Crime Information Center )

13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"

14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

AND THE WINNER IS....

16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."

How was your day?  I hope at least one thing made you laugh 


2 comments:

  1. Anonymous12:12 AM

    :)

    Pen

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous9:13 PM

    #9 and #11. Hahahaha. Your mom -- that is a great thing. Dark chocolate pretzels? Have mercy!

    ReplyDelete