Alternate career

I want to run away and join an animal sanctuary. I can feed baby elephants whose mothers have been killed. I can clean lion pens. Groom camels.

I want to be a documentary filmmaker and travel the world recording everything from the mating habits of the dung beetle to the effect of granola bars on the global economy. I want to study big issues, and small ones.

I want to be a dancer - to glide across the floor with beauty and grace.

I want to be an accomplished piano player. Someone who can change the mood of a room with the stroke of a key.

I want to be a marine biologist and study narwhals. Or squid. Or plankton.

There are so many things I'd like to do with my life that I have neither talent nor training to do. That's why reading books and watching documentaries are so wonderful. They can take me to those worlds, put me in those jobs or lifestyles. They expand my narrow view of the world. And sometimes I learn something new to keep with me in this life I currently live.

What skill or talent do you wish you had?

One Good Thing

My laptop had the dreaded Blue Screen of Death so I replaced it. There`s nothing on this new system, apart from some games that are a minor distraction. It`s strange not to have all of my photographs at my fingertips. I had backed documents up to my online accounts so that`s all accessible.

I like the shiny white newness of it all. I literally have a blank slate. A fresh start.

There are endless opportunities and possibilities just waiting for me to jump in there. With all that`s going on in the world these days, disasters and tragedies, loss and devastation, it seems frivolous to be so pleased with a new toy. I`ve had a few sleepless nights lately so it`s easy to please me right now.

I`m determined to find One Good Thing every single day and rejoice in all that life has to offer. By focusing on on that instead of all the horror is a good coping skill. It also reminds us why we should pick up the pieces and carry on.

One Good Thing. One a day. Try it. It`s a small thing with a huge potential

Relief

So many of the photos coming out of Japan remind me of this picture I took of my friend's son's cars.

That's just wrong. Please donate to the organization of your choice. And let's not forget the people of Haiti and Pakistan who are still recovering from their respective earthquakes as well. Empathy and compassion can help rebuild communities.

Thank you.

Sportswriting

It's a difficult genre to master. A lot of books about specific sports focus on a particular team or player. Sometimes they're about one race, one game, one title or the difference one year made in that sport's history.

It's all too easy to fall into a litany of statistics and brilliant moves. I always struggled with the balance between describing play-by-play action and capturing the essence of the game when I wrote about the team for the local paper.

In all of the sport books and articles I've read over the years, it's been the rare author who captures the spirit of the book with their writing style. Speed, skill, colour and grace explode/dance/thunder down the pages on a variety of subjects.

Right now, I'm reading The World is a ball. If you're one of those people who thinks watching soccer is like watching paint dry - give this book a read. John Doyle is able to capture the beauty, brilliance and excitement of soccer and describe it in such a way that has me reaching for the television remote. I want to immerse myself in the sport after reading three pages.

I read along at a slow pace, absorbing every word, considering all the nuance and complexities revealed. I stop after a few pages just to think about what he's described - the sea of orange that flows through all the streets, alleys and doorways ahead of the Dutch team. The brilliance and spectacle of the Brazilian supporters. The organization and dedication of the Korean fans.

He conveys not just the mood and atmosphere of the World Cup but the significance of team movement, of supporter reaction and how everything all melds together to create a magnificent insight into national identities and international relationships.

If you love soccer, or love someone who does, read this book. It will expand your knowledge and appreciation for "the beautiful game".

Writer's Options

While on this relationship time-out that writing and I have taken, I have kept in loose touch with some of our mutual friends. Bob Mayer is doing some interesting things in the world of publishing in the digital age. I highly recommend perusing his blog posts to get an authour driven perspective, as well as the business possibilities that abound. This article in particular discusses self-publishing. Opportunities lurk behind every corner these days. Should we all self-publish?

I've definitely given Lulu a few quick glances from beneath lowered lashes. I've got a memoir that I want to print three copies of for family use. I have an illustrated children's book that needs a half dozen copies. Lulu certainly gives me options. I've praised the heck out of a novel, Need to Know by Christine Merrill, that I purchased from that site several months ago so I know how well they do e-books.

I still have my issues with Amazon and Kindle but I've gone ahead and purchased my very own copy of Splitting the Difference by my friend Lisa Deon. When you read why she published with Amazon after reading the self-publishing blog post from above, I guarantee that it will get your writer brain pondering your options.

If you're a Reader, your world just expanded. Go get Lisa's story. And enjoy!

Writing breakup or much needed break?

Writing and I are a taking a break from each other and evaluating our relationship. It was my idea and I may have actually used the "It's not you, it's me" phrase. Writing doesn't seem to mind, or have missed me in the slightest.I don't miss writing all that much either.

What I really don't miss are the hours and hours spent in front of the computer, trying to second-guess the characters or agonizing over the plot. Writing - like any relationship - is a lot of hard work.

I'm not adverse to hard work. I don't even mind the lack of balance between slave labour and minimal reward. Initially, I thought the break was motivated by the complete and utter lack of reward but, now I'm not so sure.

I don't want to talk about writing with anyone. Reading is another subject entirely. I can discuss a good book for hours. If someone starts to talk to me about craft, plot, character arc or structure in my own work or theirs then I feel a very negative physical reaction.

I take encouragement as patronizing or even condescending when it's not meant that way. I get angry when people tell me how to resolve my writer's block. It's not a block. I'm not stuck. I have words and ideas. I just don't want to write, yet the whole thought of not being a writer makes me ill. It's been a part of my identity for as long as I can remember. Is that what I cling to? Is the idea of being a writer what I care for more than the writing itself?

Clearly, I'm not over writing. There's a lot of unresolved emotion there. If we have any chance of working it out and getting back together I need to examine what's turned my love to hate. They're two sides of the same coin. I am not indifferent to writing in the least.

Perhaps this time apart will help me evaluate our relationship, put things into perspective and help me find a healthier balance than the all-or-nothing attitude I seem to have these days. If not, then I have plenty of paper with which to line the bird cage.

World Peace

This photo (it's all about content not quality, I apologize for the latter) is the reason I believe world peace is possible. Three instinctual enemies coexist quite peacefully beneath the same roof. They've learned to check their instincts, adjust their expectations and trust each other. Whenever one of them throws things out of balance, the others give him leeway and let things slide. Grievances are forgiven, injuries are rare and always minor.

I had planned to post that photo last week but life kept me away from the computer. In light of this week's events it seems all the more relevant. You might think it's cheeky of me to compare three animals to the cultural diversity in the Middle East. But I couldn't help think of my photo when I saw the one of Muslims and Christians linking arms to protect the antiquities at one of the museums in Cairo.

I believe we can all get along.

Finishing

Right now I'm working on several projects - one at a time.  There are so many unfinished creative bits of myself lying around the house.  I want to organize and declutter.  Traditionally, January is a slow time at work in a month filled with sad anniversaries. The spike-in-the-chest pain has subsided over the years to a dull ache that never goes away. I need to be productive.

So far this weekend, I've finished a hat, a baby jacket and a sweater. I've pulled out two more sweaters and a wrap that were tossed aside for Christmas projects.  One of the Christmas projects wasn't finished in time for my parents to see so that has to  be completed. I have still to input one letter my mom wrote to my grandmother when we were stationed in Germany. Most of the photographs have been scanned. I have to sit down with my parents and document the stories that go with the pictures then put them all together. Then I have to navigate Lulu so the memories will be preserved for the kids.

At some point I also need to finish Casey's revisions.  I've been carting that sheaf of papers with me all over town and on my recent travels.  Someone somewhere is waiting for that book to come out and show them how to help their own dog. I need to finish it.

I need to finish a lot of things before I start new.  I will. I always do.  I may have slowed down a bit lately but that doesn't mean I'm not always thinking about how to continue/improve/finish. I am. I will.

Finishing - an important part of creating.

Internet Friends

In the last three weeks I've either had company or been company.  At this very moment I am being company in the Crossroads of America.  I feel so social.  All but one set of friends is from the Internet.  That's still not something I admit to when crossing International borders, but other than that I'm quite proud of the fact that some of my best friends were met over the web.

Web.  It connects us.  And some of us were meant to be connected.  I was telling my friend's niece that while her uncle and I met online through a writer's blog, our connection was so much bigger than any two people.  There are many similarities in family histories, parental backgrounds, birthplaces and interests.  My nephew is friends with her cousin. My mum and her granny have connected.  Her aunts are precious to me and her uncle's girlfriend reminds me of Stashaholic.  We are two families who are essential to each other's lives and would never have met without the Internet.

I would never have gone to Scotland - twice, if I hadn't made friends online.  Same writer's blog (it was a goldmine of durable and enduring friendships), different people.  But no less precious.  My 2011 began with fresh air, lots of laughter and a powerful feeling of goodwill thanks to the 24 karat company.

My other friend wasn't actually company. We met for a 4 3/4 hour lunch in Toronto at Dessert Trends.  The website doesn't tell you how fantastic the service is, how gracious the owners are or that it can accommodate a wheelchair without detracting from the decor.  We laughed, talked fashion, friends, work, life.  With one of us living in San Fransisco(not me) we don't get to spend much time together in person but we do talk every day.

When I traveled to London, it was to help another friend unpack. Her family had recently moved there from my hometown and I wanted to help put her son's playroom together.  His four year old perspective on the world fascinates me.  These friends were made the old-fashioned way, through another Real Life friend. But I was able to introduce this friend to another one of my old-fashioned friends who already lives in London. The second friend and I had lost touch many years ago but, she found me through Facebook.  I'll be ever grateful for that as we grew up together, weathered some horrific storms together and can now lounge on the beach drinking margaritas if we so wish.

It's been lovely to spend actual in-the-same-room time with my friends from the Internet. We continue to spin out as many connections, ever leading off to more adventures and adding more strings to our web.

There's still something magical about getting a handwritten letter in the mailbox at your front door, but when friends are on the other side of the world, it's good to be able to talk to them instantly(provided you can navigate time zones).

I've been blessed to be able to bring my imaginary friends into the real world.

Light

Whether you're celebrating Jewish Festival of Lights, Hanukkah; the return of the Sun, Winter Solstice; of the birth of the Son and the Star that heralded His arrival, Christmas -

May all that you consider holy, bless you with Light and warmth throughout the dark, winter nights

Ebooks

As you know, I don't have an e-reader.  I've looked at three which are owned by different friends.  None of them thrilled me (the readers, not the friends).I think it might be the e-ink.  I've come to expect a certain level of brightness from handheld devices. I installed a pdf reader on my phone but the screen was too small to accommodate my need for larger font.  I spent several hours at the airport scanning the pages back and forth while I tried to read an e-book.

In the end, I've resorted to reading on my laptop.  Not ideal but it has a tad more flexibility than the desktop computer. My laptop is six years old and weighs as much as a small child.  It's not exactly conducive to a quiet read in bed before sleep.

If it's all that much hassle, why bother with e-books, then? Because both Bob Mayer and Christine Merrill have books available in that format only. As their books are well crafted, exciting page-turners I refuse to let technology keep me from my entertainment.

The links take you to two books that have kept me in front of my computer screen, jonesing at work and suffering eyestrain in the airport because they were compelling reads.  Isn't that what all readers want, regardless of format?

Happy reading!

Actively listen

A couple of weeks ago, I posted a challenge on Facebook to all of my friends. Spend the day listening to someone with a differing opinion from your own. Sit quietly and actively listen to what they have to say.  Get a solid idea of their position and reasoning.

As long as we focus on our differences, from petty to significant, we'll never find a way to resolve our issues.  That includes personal and global.

I see so many people arguing or ignoring another opinion or suggestion simply because of the person who is speaking. They're missing out on some valid arguments that way.

I received more feedback about my experiment in real time than I did online. My DB and DN had an amazing conversation without its usual loud sighing or verbal blasts of incomprehension.  It was healthy and respectful.  Other people told me they had engaged in similar conversations, read newspapers with a different political slant than their own or observed a religious practice with which they were unfamiliar or a culture that made them uncomfortable. Someone even suggested we try to make it an International Day of Observing How the Other Side Lives but the title was too unwieldy.

I'm throwing that challenge out to the blogosphere. Spend the next few days listening to what people say. Throw aside your prejudices and preconceived notions.  Ignore your expectations.

Listen.

You don't know what you will hear but it might change the world if we all do it.

Farm Memories

I had a brilliant post written in my head for today but with all of the computer issues I've had, I decided to share this photograph with you instead.  It's the view my great-grandmother would have seen every single day of her early life.  Those aren't the same sheep but the tree to the right is far older than she would be if Granny was still alive. 

Many thanks to Theresa for taking me there a few weeks ago

Love

I've been thinking a lot about love lately. We have a tendency to quantify and qualify our love. We rate it. We love our kids more than our spouses who we love more than our parents who we love more than our pets.We'd die for them in one order or another dependent on how we value their status in our lives. 

Love is love.  It grows, expands, fills holes, heals wounds and enriches our lives.  Who are we to say how one should value those we love? Why do we evaluate it? I might save the dog and kid before the spouse but only because I have an expectation that the adults can save themselves.  I don't love my niece more than my nephew because she's a girl or consider Stashaholic* a better friend than McB* because I've known her longer. I love all four of them. No qualifications or comparisons necessary.

Do we love based on gender, religion, politics?  I love my friends whose politics who send me recoiling in fear.  I love my friends whose religious beliefs demand they convert/kill/ostracize me for my different beliefs.  I love the dog who turns himself inside out with joy whenever I enter the room. I love the cat who draws blood when he skitters away in fear. Mutual affection clearly doesn't influence my ability to love another being. 

I continue to love my grandparents and great-grandparents long after their deaths.  I continue to love friends and lovers who are no longer part of my life. Their love and mine for them continues to fill my heart regardless of their presence. 

Love is eternal, not constricted by physical limitations, convention or even the act of living.

Love is everywhere.

Plants and animals grow and thrive in healthy, loving environments. The same is true for humans. But love survives and grows in environments where conditions are less than ideal.  How many abused children grow into loving parents?  More than convention would suggest.  Time and again I've watched abused animals respond to patience and love.  It exists inside them all.  The only lesson required is how to express it.

Hate and fear are no excuse for responding in kind.  I used to tell my nephew a story about defeating monsters with a kiss.  It was a nice little fairy tale to deflate the monster beneath the bed. Then Monsters, Inc came out and suddenly I was a genius.

A recent episode of MI5 featured an asset turning the terrorist away from his "destiny" by focusing on the love in his life, in his culture, rather than the hate he'd been fed.

Both examples are of fiction but they were timely reminders for me. The world is not black and white, love and hate, good versus evil. There are many shades of all in each of us. It's the choices we make to honour one over the other that make us. 

I choose love - in all of its many forms.

*To prove my point about qualifying, I feel the need to mention that I picked those two because they both have their aliases out on the Internet not because they come to mind faster than any of my other friends :)

Thinking

Join me on this delightfully weathered bench while I sit and contemplate life in Nea's birthplace.

Nothing beats onsite research

A time or two in the past, I may have mentioned the importance of walking the terrain.  Characters come alive when you can visualize them in the exact setting.  Your ability to describe that setting is greatly enhanced by actually walking that ground, inhaling the scents, feeling the breeze, listening to the ambient sound.

As you know, I've been busy for some time with my schooling, Casey's therapy and the book about that.  Hell to Pay was put aside. I'll be digging it back out very soon so that I can polish it up and send it out.

Yesterday I went for a walk along the Hermitage in Dunkeld, Scotland. Yep. Scotland.  Bracken and Nea are both from there.  I've been drawn to that area for many years and a friend's photo of the terrain surrounding The Hermitage inspired a major turning point in Alex and Nea's relationship.

As soon I put foot on the trail, I was back inside that story. I could picture Bracken peering at me from behind the rocks.  At one point, I felt hundreds of eyes staring at us.  The gentle shush shush of our boots through the fallen leaves seemed to whisper thank you at one point.  The roar of the falls gave way to the splash of water drops upon the trees.

Our journey through the woods yielded many bits of information I would never have gathered without using my own senses.  The bracken and birch didn't grow side by side as often as my research had suggested.  The paths and viewing benches may have been man-made but the forest had painted them with all the colours in nature's pallet.  Moss danced across the forest floor, over the rocks and up the trees.  The air was fresh,  bracing in its purity.

And through it all the story played out in my head.

Happy Halloween

I always wanted a baby elephant...

this was the best Ky the long-suffering dog could do about that.  He was just a baby at the time

Mystery pic

Oops.  I was busy making memories with my darling niece this weekend and forgot all about the time.

Can you guess what this is a  picture of?

It's a glass construction block. You could build an entryway, counter or patio with them.  My nephew was selling some for us on kijiji and needed a good picture. Then I started playing with them to make some interesting effects. We didn't sell a single one but I had fun.

Chilean miners disprove Lord of the Flies Theory

A great deal of fiction (The Stand, Lord of the Flies, The Experiment, Survivor) purport that in the face of catastrophy or bare bones survival, man will turn on himself until only one remains.

I think the 33 men stuck in the Chilean mine for 69 days proved that all wrong. Not only did they work together to ensure the group's survival but they surpassed their individual abilities to emerge triumphant in spirit as well as body.  Apparently, they've hired an accountant to create a fund in which to place the profits from the telling of their experiences so that each man, from the quietest to the most exuberant, will share the wealth.

Take that William Golding.

Attraction

A few posts ago I mentioned watercolours and Miz Elen said they were one of her favourite art expressions.  Go look at her header then come back and compare it to this splash I created twenty years ago. 

They're not exactly the twins I thought they were but it's hardly a surprise we're drawn to similar looks.  Just as Stashaholic mentioned she was researching e-Readers at the same time as I wrote a blog about them, these coincidences can only mean one thing. We are attracted to people through common interests. Admittedly, I didn't know Elen liked Motown and watercolours when we first began our interaction but as the friendship has developed we've introduced each other to new things (Mad Men) as well as sharing others (MI5). The more you get to know someone, the more you learn you have in common. 

I'm going to try applying that homily to random strangers who pique my interest.  I wonder if instant attraction can be attributed to a deeper understanding of individuals that is intuited on a cellular level...